Lessons from the Laundry Room

Laundry.  One of my most hated chores to do.  It's never ending.  There will always be some article of clothing or linen dirty and needed to be washed.  As a family of 5 and the only one doing laundry, it can get overwhelming to say the least.   Going to school full time and working 30-35 hours a week with, at that time, 2 kids laundry was always behind and never caught up. In January of 2009 I began student teaching at a school about 50 miles away. Add lesson planning and school work and an hour one way commute just made things worse.  I settled into the fact that I would never get ahead of the mountain of dirty laundry that seemed to be taking over the once large bathroom that I loved.  As long as enough was clean and the kids clothes were clean would have to be good enough.  Fast forward several months and I found myself expecting our 3rd child.  With the other 2 pregnancies, I really didn't miss a beat but with this one, if it wasn't absolutely necessary to get out of the bed, I didn't.  I felt nausea all day.  I felt week.  So needless to say the laundry was the furthest thing from my mind and it mountain continued to grow. 
Well I can finally say I am 'caught up'. As caught up as you can be, because as I said, there will always be something dirty needing to be laundered.  My Master bathroom is once again beginning to resemble the bathroom I loved having.  I feel a sense of accomplishment that this task that I once looked at as impossible and had giving into that thought and giving up on overcoming it, is complete.  Can I stop now?  No. If I do I will be right back feeling defeated by a pile of clothes.  It's a work in progress and if I want to keep on this track I will have to put in the time and effort to keep it that way.

Why this rant about the laundry? Because as I thought about how I once thought that it would be impossible to conquer the mountain, I realized I thought this way about other aspects of my life.  I will never be able to______. I can't ever go______. I will never be_______. But none of this is true.  All things are possible.  But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26 It's time I start treating my life every day and every way like my mountain of laundry.  No mountain in life is unconquerable as long as I keep working toward the goal and holding the hand of God.

Forgiveness

                                                  


I came across this quote on FACEBOOK.  Yes FACEBOOK.  I admit that much of my time online is spent browsing it. Looking into other people's lives and wondering how are they really doing? Is what I am seeing really a reflection of their true life or is it like what they see when they browse my wall, an image I have put there and can manipulate to make my life look however I want.  Now keeping up a facade 24/7 is hard.  So yes some of my emotional baggage is sure to leak through.  I will come across a song or quote that really epitomizes how I feel at any given moment and I will post for the whole world, or at least my 141 friends, to see.  Sometimes I will only post for a few to see. the few, that once you retreat from the facebook reality, are actually my friends and I just need them to know how I am feeling.  Well, this morning, in the quiet hour of 5am, I came across this one. I am struggling with many aspects of my life right now and more than I willing or ready to spill on the open highway we call the Internet.  But as I read this one the light bulb went off.  Why do I relive hurt and pain and continue to cry?  Because I haven't forgiven myself.  I have repented to God.  I have asked all involved for forgiveness.  But I haven't forgiven myself.  I continue to hurt and punish myself with tears and pain because that's what I deserve. If only after asking for forgiveness I could then see me as God sees me.  

"If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand?  But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." Psalm 130:3-4  

HE doesn't give me what I deserve because through Jesus Christ I am forgiven.  HIS mercy allows me to not be condemned by my sins, but I continue to punish myself.  I keep crying over the same forgiven in GOD's eyes things over and over again.  Only God can grant forgiveness. Only HIS forgiveness is what truly matters.  HE has forgiven my sins and loves me still.  HIS mercy is always enough and this and only this is what will take away the tears and the pain. 

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9