Forgiveness

                                                  


I came across this quote on FACEBOOK.  Yes FACEBOOK.  I admit that much of my time online is spent browsing it. Looking into other people's lives and wondering how are they really doing? Is what I am seeing really a reflection of their true life or is it like what they see when they browse my wall, an image I have put there and can manipulate to make my life look however I want.  Now keeping up a facade 24/7 is hard.  So yes some of my emotional baggage is sure to leak through.  I will come across a song or quote that really epitomizes how I feel at any given moment and I will post for the whole world, or at least my 141 friends, to see.  Sometimes I will only post for a few to see. the few, that once you retreat from the facebook reality, are actually my friends and I just need them to know how I am feeling.  Well, this morning, in the quiet hour of 5am, I came across this one. I am struggling with many aspects of my life right now and more than I willing or ready to spill on the open highway we call the Internet.  But as I read this one the light bulb went off.  Why do I relive hurt and pain and continue to cry?  Because I haven't forgiven myself.  I have repented to God.  I have asked all involved for forgiveness.  But I haven't forgiven myself.  I continue to hurt and punish myself with tears and pain because that's what I deserve. If only after asking for forgiveness I could then see me as God sees me.  

"If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand?  But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." Psalm 130:3-4  

HE doesn't give me what I deserve because through Jesus Christ I am forgiven.  HIS mercy allows me to not be condemned by my sins, but I continue to punish myself.  I keep crying over the same forgiven in GOD's eyes things over and over again.  Only God can grant forgiveness. Only HIS forgiveness is what truly matters.  HE has forgiven my sins and loves me still.  HIS mercy is always enough and this and only this is what will take away the tears and the pain. 

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9