Hine Sight may be 20/20 but sometimes it's also selective

Lately I've been wonder what the future will hold.  I've wondered how long or how strong are the relationships in my life.  Are they worth hanging on to or letting them all go an starting fresh? I been trying to remember and think back at what moment did things begin to go wrong?  At what point did things go from not living without to can I live with this any longer?  I came across an old journal I had written and it was not how I remembered a certain day at all.  In my mind this had to be the beginning of the end.  But as I read the journal that was written I realized I wasn't remembering correctly at all.  If this pivotal moment I had been remembering as the beginning of the end and it clearly was not, what else was my perfect hind sight deceiving me on? What else was I remember wrong? What other wrong memories were fueling an wanting to declare emotion bankruptcy on most of the relationships in my life? 
Lesson learned: Don't live or look to the past.  Don't look to the future. No matter how hard you squint you still won't see it.  Look and live now.  Look around you.  Who is there for you today?  No matter if there was a disagreement or misunderstanding or lack of communication in the past.  Who is important to you at this moment, at this second and who is there wanting to be there for you now?  that  is what's important.  Look also in the mirror. Look long and hard.  Who can answer these questions with you as the answer?  Many times I wonder when this person stopped caring or stopped wanting to be in my life but what was my part? Did I give them any reason to care or be in my life?

Lift it up and Let it Go...

As I reread this old post, I could not believe that I wrote this.  I have come so far from these feelings in the past 2 years that I don't recognize them at all.  Let go and Let God.  In the last several months I have been doing nothing but blocking God.  I want it my way. I don't want to follow through on my commitments I've made be fore Him and everyone.  I don't want to take time each day to meditate a see the wrong in me to be able to see the right in HIM. I want what I want and I want it now.  When did I get so spoiled? When did I get so disrespectful? Yes I am human and of the flesh and have my problems but is that an excuse to put myself higher than GOD?  I today vow to give everything to GOD where it needed to be anyway and recognize myself for only the vessel which HE can make Himself known and do His will.  I'm letting go again. But this time I'm keep my eyes fixed on God and  not on me.






"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 TNIV

Last weekend my husband and I, along with his family, traveled to Newport News for his sisters wedding. I admit, I was not looking forward to the weekend trip. I was driving but had no clue where we were going. His sister booked the hotel room and again I had no knowledge of where this room was or check in or check out time. I didn't even know the guy she was marrying or the family that we would be spending so much our time with. But LaMesha was getting married. I wanted to be happy for her and enjoy the wedding and this union being blessed by God. So after much sulking while packing and thinking of everything that could go wrong because I wasn't controlling and planning, I sat down on my bed and said a small prayer. I told God that the attitude that I had, I didn't want to have all weekend so I was going with whatever plan he had for me. I would quietly go and allow Him to guide me and my family as we made the trip. I would do whatever needed to be done of me to serve Him and my extended family. Well, the trip was great!!! The wedding was small but beautiful. The Harris's were wonderful. They were the type of people that even though they had not met me before were more than glad to open their home and hearts to us. As I reflect over last weekend I feel encouraged that letting go was one of the best things I could have done.
On this journey of faith and understanding of becoming the person that Christ would have me to be, I struggle with the letting go part. I make plans and list and want things to go exactly this way or that. But who am to say what will happen on any given day? Am I not just a part of HIS great creation here to glorify HIM and His work? It's almost like saying to God, "Okay today you need to make this and this and this happen, this way and then I'll be happy." The nerve of me, right? I should be saying, "This is the day that you have made and graciously allowed me to be a part of. Take me and use me for your will and your plans that you may be glorified. I am just happy to be alive and a reaper of your mercy."
I find myself anxious when I'm not in control or rather when I feel I'm not in control but truly, I am not ever in control. God is now and always will be. Letting for what is a brief moment in my life was the best decision I have ever made. I just need to transfer that to everything in my life. How wonderful the life I lead would be if I consistently let God do his will as it ought to be and just stay out of His way.

Free Will--Curse or Blessing??

Free will.  It seems so easy.  God has given me and everyone else free will.  I am free to make my own decisions.  I am free to do whatever I want.  Easy right?  No. Not at all.  Not when your and mother, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a growing Christian. Any one decision in life has many many choices.  What do I choose?  And that same decision may be still a result of a decision made in the past.  Is my present and future now bound by poor choices yesterday?  Will ever get a chance to turn around a wrong choice?  It would e so much easier if I could wake up each morning and have a direct email from God outline each thing I would encounter today and what my responses should be and which exact choices I should make.  Wouldn't the day be amazing?  When my daughter acts not like her usually sweet perfect self, not only will I expect it I can calmly say to her whatever God has told me from my email.  When I have forgotten do something for my husband, I can just refer back to my email and know exactly how to fix it all.  I imagine myself at the end of this day relaxing with a smile on my face, hardly able to wait and see what was in store for tomorrow. 
But this is not reality. I do not receive an email from Him each day.  I do not what I will encounter or forget or have to decide.  I do not have a list of premade answers.  Or do I?
Christianity's foundation is faith.  Faith that all instruction of how to live daily life is found in the Bible, both old and new testament. Faith that if there is true belief, then God will always be there and never allow failure or harm to come to his child.  Faith that even when the answers can't be seen, He will guide to the right answer and to Him.
As I think through this, there seems to be a lot of if's.  What happened to free will?  I still have free will.  I am free to acknowledge me need for Jesus Christ to be my savior and guide.  I have the free will to continue to trust him when everything seems it's darkest and loneliest.  I have free will to put Him first and have the faith that everything else will fall into place as he would have it. 
Ok so free will isn't so bad after all.  I am freeing myself from myself. I am freeing myself from my human thoughts and decisions and embracing and listening to God.  He has given my everything I need  and will continue to so if I freely follow, believe, and seek HIM.

Christmas card 5

Three Wise Men Religious Christmas Card

Add one photo or multiple to your Christmas cards this season.

View the entire collection of cards.

Beautiful Personalized Greeting Cards

I am a mother of 3 fast growing children. I love scrapbooking. I love photography. I love Christmas and all that comes with it. For years I have been making my own cards and either inserting a small photo of the kids or incorporating them into the card itself. Last year I received a code for Shutterfly to try their cards for free. Did I mention I love free. So a chose a photo and started browsing through the cards. The layouts were gorgeous. From winter scenes and designs to Christmas trees and the Nativity. The hardest part of card making for me was finding or thinking of a sentiment that would express what I wanted to share with family and friends and be able to use it for all. Many of their cards already have just the right sentiment making personal card making a cinch. I approved my cards and waited for them in the mail. They were everything I imagined. The photos were Shutterfly's high quality and the card stock was heavy and clear to read. I was proud to be able to send such beautiful cards to wish friends near and far a wonderfully merry Christmas. Shutterfly also has Hanukkah cards, party invitations, and thank you cards. I think this year I'm going to try the address labels.